At press time we are still unsure how Emily fared on Friday’s spelling test, but we do know that it was a difficult week of challenging words and not a lot of time to study, what with rehearsals all week leading up to the big talent show Friday night.
What, you didn’t know about Emily and her friends Maya, Katrina and Collin getting up in front of everyone and performing “It’s a Sunshine Day” (the old Brady Bunch tune)? So sorry that you missed that newsflash. We are very proud of the kids, as they did a wonderful job, and while Emily was a little disappointed that they stumbled a bit at the end of the song I felt that they covered it well and kept smiling throughout. It was really a fun night for all of us.
Emily specifically requested that I write this week’s study story about her current favorite show – “Johnny Test” – a show that I’ve never actually watched all the way through and only have a cursory understanding of, yet I’m giving it a go.
Here goes nothing!
Johnny Test and the Great Lion Experiment
Susan and Mary came up with the great idea, although it was an unusual one.
Their brother Johnny would be turned into a lion who only roared when someone on the radio was called a liar. It seemed like a stretch, but their parents had been listening to quite a bit of talk radio these days and everyone seemed to be calling everyone else a liar, so the experiment seemed golden.
Dukey didn’t like it. No, he liked it not one bit. He even wrote a poem about it:
Johnny went to India/His drinks were blend-y-a/But he ain’t no lion/Cuz people ain’t lyin’
Dukey might be a really smart dog with human qualities (thanks to Susan and Mary), but he wasn’t much of a poet. But he was a fantastic piano player, and one night in January he played a recital in front of a stunned, quiet crowd, whose applause after his final number only served to fuel Dukey’s massive ego.
He was now almost impossible to deal with.
The radio was tuned to K-NEW and “Blabbermouth Bill” was hosting today. This was Dukey’s favorite show, and he never missed any of the yelling, banter and name-calling that took place. Soon after the start of the show Johnny the Lion strolled into the room and he was quite the science experiment to behold. In his diary Johnny wrote about what it was like to be a lion, about having a tail, eating large bites of red meat and using the strings of a violin with which to floss. It was during this period of his crazy life that Johnny learned to dislike radio talk shows, as within a matter of seconds into the first show he heard as a lion the host and his guest each called the other a liar, prompting Johnny to roar multiple times, each one louder than the one it followed.
It was February and it was chilly, but Johnny was warm because of his thick lion mane. Dukey was miserable though because his radio talk show was constantly being interrupted by his friend’s roaring. The two friends sat down for a breakfast of hot cereal, fruit, and Johnny’s usual side of beef. Just as they were finishing up they heard a news report on the television in the other room proclaiming that they had exclusive video footage of a giant meteor that touched down at a nearby rodeo.
“Liars!” yelled Dukey.
“Roooooooooooar!” said Johnny.
It seemed now that all that was required to make Johnny roar was anybody proclaiming somebody else to be a liar, not just radio personalities.
Somewhere Rush Limbaugh breathed a sigh of relief.
“Let this be a lesson to you Johnny,” said Dukey. “Every program has its share of liars and people calling the other a liar so you just need to get over yourself.”
Dukey drank a quart of milk and fed his friend some more red meat before they went out into the world to rid themselves of their lion problem, but what they didn’t realize was that Susan and Mary had ended the experiment several days ago and Johnny hadn’t been a lion for nearly a week. Yet there he was still roaring at the mention of “liar” and he continued to consume a wide variety of heavy meats with each meal.
Johnny’s continued roaring was met with gradual acceptance by his family, but his sisters were getting concerned for their own safety, as the general geography of their neighborhood was simply no place for a lion.
But Johnny was the one who had the last laugh.
No, he hadn’t been a lion for some time, but he enjoyed roaring so much and had such a hankering for red meat these days that he kept up the masquerade. He fooled his family, his friends and even his teachers, who never gave him a failing grade for leaving a giant paw mark instead of the proper math diagram on his homework and cared not that he never took the time to punctuate his sentences.
And Johnny even had Dukey stumped, as the long-time talk radio fan had finally had enough of the name-calling, finger-pointing and roaring, and he’d simply stopped listening altogether.
Now he just watched soap operas.
There were just as many liars, but a lot less roaring.